A Gift.

Pernahkah kamu mendengar tentang jiwa-jiwa yang saling berjumpa di kehidupan lain?  Sebenarnya mereka telah mencari satu sama lain di kehidupan ini. Itulah mengapa ketika seseorang bertanya padaku; “bagaimana mungkin kamu tahu bahwa dialah seorang yang tepat untukmu?” Aku mampu uraikan jutaan alasan- tapi yang paling kusukai adalah:

Sebelum ruang dan waktu adalah sebuah konsep,

Sebelum cinta adalah rangkaian puisi,

Sebelum aku ada,

Sebelum ia dicipta,

Tuhan telah menuliskan namanya bersama namaku.






August 21, 2015. First time i met him in person. August is special for me. in the first week; i had my birthday, in the middle of the month; first time we chat, in the end of the month; we finally met in person.

He’s like a birthday gift Allah has sent for me. Alhamdulillah for his existence in my life.

his heart and my heart are old friends.

.. August 21, 2015 : first time i saw you from the corner of my eyes ..

i you, Radityo.

p.s : entah kenapa, beberapa menit sebelum bertemu dengannya di seberang tempat saya berdiri itu, saya seketika berkeinginan untuk menangkap gambar tempat kami akan bertemu. feelings..




Bahkan jika doamu hanyalah ucap syukur, mungkin itu cukup.
Bahkan jika penyucian dirimu hanyalah penerimaan diri, mungkin itu cukup.
Bahkan jika pengkhidmatanmu hanyalah rasa belas kasih, mungkin itu cukup.
Bahkan jika yang dapat kamu tawarkan hanyalah empati, mungkin itu cukup.
Bahkan jika ritualmu hanyalah pemberian maaf, mungkin itu cukup.
Bahkan jika yang dapat kau tebarkan  hanyalah rasa damai, mungkin itu cukup.
Bahkan jika tabungan ibadahmu hanyalah kautahan dirimu dari dosa, mungkin itu cukup.

…Selamat berulang tahun.

Kamu berhutang budi yang tak mampu kau tunaikan kepada mereka yang mengucap doa-doa untukmu. Baik mereka yang mengucap doa tertampak di hadapanmu, mengalirkan lautan air matamu. Atau mereka yang melirihkan doa untukmu dalam heningnya, bahkan desau angin tak mampu tiupkan senyap doanya.

Hello August, We Meet Again..

it was in the middle of August, when someone surprisingly chat me on G+’s hangout;

“hey, i read a lot of post on your blog, you seems like a nice person, it seems good if we meet in person”

there you were.. entering the cafe looking for a best table to spot me. there i was.. taking a picture of you entering the cafe from second floor of my office.

2 minutes later.. me went down the stairs, crossing the street, plug in my earphone into my phone, put on my ears without playing anything, walking to the cafe, face down, trying to be relax that i will meet someone i never meet before.

there was me..taking the chair, and sit.. still, face down. counting 1, 2, 3, 4, in my heart and you were came in 5 seconds. taking a chair in front of me..


and the story goes..he is the person i finally marry with.

it was in the end of August, our so-called first date, 1 week from the first meet. rode your motorcycle around the city, went to the crowded of Braga, offered shalat at Mesjid Agung,  shared stories under the lights of Braga, went to vintage art shop, went to vintage cafe and shared food.

never know that Allah has written his name to be one of beautiful people who will coloring my life. can not believing how wonderful Allah has planned our meeting in a such beautiful and perfect time, perfect place. still can’t believe how beautiful it was.








The Monophones – Rain of July

I’m standing here in the sky of july
With the blue and cloudy sky
With the land there’s dry

The sun its burning all of the land
Turn the stone into the sand
Leave my world in pain

Dear sunshine would you give of your time
To give the cloud chance when the dream has so blind
Dear sunshine why don’t you understand
All I need is only rain to wash away all the pain

The sun its burning all of the land
Turn the stone into the sand
Leave my world in pain

What should I do at least for a try
To pick a piece of yours being rain of july
Or should I flying high to the sky
To pick a piece of yours being rain of july

How can I release my pain
All my world will lost in vain
If the rain will not to fall
In the sky of july

I can see you
Thought I can’t have you
I can feel you
Is everything has a meaning
For all those days I’ve been trying
And here I’m keep on waiting

Dear sunshine would you give of your time
To give the cloud the chance when the dream has so blind
Or should I flying high to the sky
To pick a piece of yours being rain of july



…welcome to my heart, Radityo...

p.s : not even a single picture of him will be shown here, because he is too dashing and i wont let you look into his beautiful eyes..he is limited only for me.

heart beats melancholy

suddenly crying a lot on our dining table because Ya Allah i really miss him. he were just went for work only since 8 hrs ago and will be at home in 2 hrs.. but i miss him badly.

i recall how sweet our first meet; the smiles, the gesture..when i need a long time to finally recognizing his detail appearance, because i never had a courage to see his face, i always lower my gaze in front of him..

11 months since our met..

i still couldn’t believe that i married him.

things are more easier with him. couldn’t ask more than this. everything are more wonderful, warming, and full of surprises.. yet refreshing! a new stage of life, alhamdulillah.

still have this feeling.. to feel a heart beats waiting his coming in front of the door.. the same heart beats i felt on our dates when we were like a boyfriend-girlfriend. the same heart beats; “when will he arrive? when will he arrive? , when will he arrive? ”

knock..knock…that feeling when you are happy enough to see him again in front of the door, and sheepishly looking at his smiling face!

may Allah keep this heart beats from me.

…i love you between the tears on our dining table…



how human we are.. to be arrogant of temporary material things we actually never had, while everything in this world is in HIS hand..HE can take it all from us in a blink of eye..

o’ Lord, take everything from me..until all i know is YOU.

Another Phase

writing here while listening my husband reading Qur’an. so beautiful and calming. It’s been a while since i listen a man (not included my family members) reading the Qur’an this close.

for those who questioning the opening, yes.. i married a man 3 months ago. so many things to tell the world about my happiness being with this special man. terlalu bahagia, hingga tidak pernah memiliki luapan kata-kata yang cukup untuk menuliskannya. but someday, someday i will write about him, i promise.

i also decided to resign from my office since some days before my wedding day. big decision always demands risk and conviction. may Allah guide me to let go of the fear, doubt, and regrets..

staying all day at home waiting for my husband to come back from his work, is something very new to me, when i accustomed with so many activities outside my home before.

and here comes another surprises in our marriage. hope this surprises make us get closer to each other, be patient with each other. with you by my side, everything seems so easy..

also, this is the first time i observing Ramadhan without my parents, and learning to observe with this man.

Happy observing holy month of Ramadhan, may we all earn all the Ramadhan blessing.