heart beats melancholy

suddenly crying a lot on our dining table because Ya Allah i really miss him. he were just went for work only since 8 hrs ago and will be at home in 2 hrs.. but i miss him badly.

i recall how sweet our first meet; the smiles, the gesture..when i need a long time to finally recognizing his detail appearance, because i never had a courage to see his face, i always lower my gaze in front of him..

11 months since our met..

i still couldn’t believe that i married him.

things are more easier with him. couldn’t ask more than this. everything are more wonderful, warming, and full of surprises.. yet refreshing! a new stage of life, alhamdulillah.

still have this feeling.. to feel a heart beats waiting his coming in front of the door.. the same heart beats i felt on our dates when we were like a boyfriend-girlfriend. the same heart beats; “when will he arrive? when will he arrive? , when will he arrive? ”

knock..knock…that feeling when you are happy enough to see him again in front of the door, and sheepishly looking at his smiling face!

may Allah keep this heart beats from me.

…i love you between the tears on our dining table…



Critical Eleven.

Dalam dunia penerbangan, dikenal istilah critical eleven; sebelas menit paling kritis di dalam pesawat—tiga menit setelah take off dan delapan menit sebelum landing—karena secara statistik delapan puluh persen kecelakaan pesawat umumnya terjadi dalam rentang waktu sebelas menit itu.

In a way, it’s kinda the same with meeting people. Tiga menit pertama kritis sifatnya karena saat itulah kesan pertama terbentuk, lalu ada delapan menit sebelum berpisah—delapan menit ketika senyum, tindak tanduk, dan ekspresi wajah orang tersebut jelas bercerita apakah itu akan jadi awal sesuatu ataukah justru menjadi perpisahan.


what kind of things you see on me on our critical eleven?


How beautiful is it, to be able to open your heart to someone, completely; without fears, but with future hopes and desires. i always wondering how much my heart feeling it is okay to disclose widely. Without rules, without terms and conditions. just guided by my own instincts, leading me to disclose. i always think that i’m a very reserved person, never bother to decide whether that’s a good thing for me, or even bad thing for me; just jump into things. i have a hard time, and mostly tired.. revealing the state of my own heart. i haven’t be able to trust other’s people ability to understand myself.

How beautiful it is.. to finally deciding to open my heart to a person who i can share my heart with, to feel safe with their companion, to be silent with the rest, to feel so alive.

..teri yaad sataundi ae..