Mourn by Yourself.

Some are happy by the coming of Muharram as a new year, some are breaking in silence on Muharram because of the tragedy happened more than1400 years ago to the grandson of the most perfect human being on earth.

But why breaking the silence of Muharram by complaining to others about how should others understands our mourn?

If you want to mourn this month, just mourn by yourself. Why others should mourn with you? Why your grieve and your sadness should be important to others?

Mourn by yourself, connecting by yourself why you mourn this month, why you need that mourn for yourself.

Wish everyone a spiritual journey during this Muharram to soften the heart.. some hearts are ill.

Note To Self;

Pernahkah kamu berada di titik terendah dalam dirimu yang bahkan membuatmu merasa kamu tidak layak untuk menggumamkan Nama-NYA di lidahmu? Kelu. Putus asa bertanya pada dirimu sendiri; siapa lah aku berani memanggil Nama-NYA setelah berzalim kepada diri sendiri karena dosa-dosamu?

Tapi dalam waktu bersamaan kamu tidak menemukan tempat berlindung dari kehancuranmu, dari kesedihan yang secara perlahan menghancurkan dan merusak hatimu.

Rebuild. Rebuild. Rebuild. Rebuild your relationship with Allah. Dia adalah Tujuan dan Dia pula Jalannya. Dialah pencipta hatimu, dan letakkanlah hatimu pada Penciptanya.

Tidak ada seorang pun yang datang padaNya dan kembali tanpa jawaban.

.. write with all my heart ..
.. write with all my heart ..

– m –

1 Dzulhijah.


1 Dzulhijah marked as the marriage anniversary of Sayyidah Fathimah as dan Imam Ali as.. congratulation to Rasulullah sawa and Sayyidah Khadijah first and foremost, and to all the lovers in the world! may we all be blessed with a beautiful marriage too! i feel like i want to give everyone some chocolate or ice cream. 🙂

the other good news best traveling mate will make a spiritual journey to somewhere (a place i really want to be at everytime!) on the next two months!

i’m so happy for her yet i’m so sad that i can’t go with her.. i’m so happy for her that she will go with the lovely people from our community, i’m so sad because now what happened to me recently makes me feel like i’m becoming far away from where i want to be at. i’m so sad because someone asked me to go with him next year and it would be our first spiritual trip together.. i’m so sad because seems like i have to let this go..


Embrace Moments

Wow, three months with full of surprises. Wondering in what ways does the universe work bring them not only as surprises but also as lessons to be learned.

You see.. the people, the moments, had written for you to be yours in the perfect times and places. They had written for you before time and space ever come to existence.

Be sincere to let go, yet open your heart to be patient in waiting for something that HE has made for you better than what was taken from you.

“O Prophet, say to whoever is in your hands of the captives, “If Allah knows [any] good in your hearts, He will give you [something] better than what was taken from you, and He will forgive you; and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (Al Qu’ran 8 : 70)

Real tears as i writing this, realizing how myself deserves appreciation for every battle it has been through, how i always trying my hardest to be open and be honest with myself (first and foremost). For every heartbreak i didn’t meant to be happened, for the lies, hides, the damage of it’s soul in it’s hands… may the Higher Being guide us to a sincere forgiveness to ourselves.


Place i want to be at right now; Imam Ali Ridha’s shrine in Mashad..

.. a corner in Imam Ali Ridha’s shrine ..

Bonus, Pilgrims walk hundred kilometers unaided for 20 days in extreme heat to reach Imam Ridha’s glorious shrine in Mashad to offering ziyarah in his birthday week.. so beautiful how love moves them.

pictures : twitter/Flower Hope


It’s been a year since i wrote a letter to you, Imam Ali Ridha.. still can’t believe and instantly brings warmness into my heart how one of my hopes which written to you on the letter, beautifully answered by Allah swt.. Alhamdulillah..

Peace be upon the Gharib al Ghurba.. peace be upon the pilgrims of Gharib al Ghurba..

Instantly Relieved

.. picture from my hiking trip to Mt. Burangrang, August 16, 2015 ..
.. picture from my hiking trip to somewhere in West Bandung,  August 16, 2015 ..

If Almighty Allah knows that in your heart you are sincerely seeking refuge with Him, He will regard you with compassion, mercy and kindness. He will cause you to succeed in that which He loves and which is pleasing to Him, for He is generous. He loves noble generosity and the worship of those who need Him, those who are burning up at His door seeking His good pleasure. Allah said:

أَمَّن يُجِيبُ الْمُضْطَرَّ إِذَا دَعَاهُ وَيَكْشِفُ السُّوءَ
“Who answers the distressed one when he calls upon Him, and removes the evil?” (Quran 27:62).

Imam as-Sadiq (a), Lantern of the Path

Embrace Moments : First Time Seeing Baqi Yard

i remember the day when i see the Baqi yard for the first time. I had 4-5 days in Madinah and i walked the way outside Baqi everyday, but i never had a chance to see how is Baqi yard looks like. i have been through miles to go there and had been separated 14 centuries of life with the nobles lying inside that yard. i remember my hopeless and my tired heart, thought that maybe i would leave Nabawi without seeing them, it was so hurts, wallahi.

and Allah guided me. It was a Thursday afternoon, i walked the market near Nabawi, and surprisingly i reached a corner where i can look into Baqi yard, without had to confronting with the Saudis asykars. i look into inside of Baqi yard, but had no idea which of them are the grave of the noble ones i want to see for which why i flight miles to there.

then i embrace moments, and made it mine. I know i only see the sea of the sands and the nameless headstones, but their light spread around the yard. at some minutes i closed my eyes, remembering their names, their beautiful words and started to offering them ziarah.

i had so many hopes and fears to be talked to the noble ones lying there, but when i realize that i was that close to them, all that hopes and fears are disappeared. i said nothing, and only remember their beauties. i didn’t think i had more anything to say to them, it was felt like home, when everything is so complete.

..also met some of Iranian pilgrims there, alhamdulillah 🙂

Welcoming Ramadhan 1436.

May everyone in the best of health and faith during the holy month of Ramadhan.

As there are countless blessings granted for us during the holy month of Ramadhan, i love to hear your all mission and good things to be accomplished on this month. i have made it, but i choose to keep it for myself 😀

Let’s try our hardest to earn all that blessings and ridha. People has their own battle, and the battle one’s have different from our battle, Ramadhan could be the best opportunity to acknowledge that. None of us are perfect, we are all work in progress.

Also, this holy month of Ramadhan, is the opportunity for me to learn more about myself. i have some of hopes and fears in my life, and i really wish that i can be more open to myself about that and make sure i’m not too hard to myself.

Also, Insha Allah i want to rebuild my relationship with my families. Bayangkan kita terlahir di antara mereka, dan kita dititipkan dalam sanubari mereka, alhamdulillah. There are as many paths to God as there are souls on earth, Maulana Rumi said. And the family is the first and the foremost best path to our Lord. Hal-hal baik menjadi lebih utama ketika dilakukan lebih dahulu di dalam keluarga  sebelum kepada yang lainnya. Manusia terbaik adalah manusia yang begitu lembut terhadap keluarganya, sabda Sang Baginda. Begitu banyaknya ridha dan berkah yang turun, dan pada keluarga itu lebih utama.

We are not alone who are broken. There are broken hearts out there; some are shown some are hidden. Spare your time to also pray for the hearts that are broken in silence, the hearts that crying in silence, hidden in a smile.

Not all of us blessed with a family and a place to call home. maybe some are our brothers and sisters in Islam who are observing Ramadhan as a convert for the first time. Invite them to your house to have iftihaar together, or send them your home food, and let them feel that they have a family. The best part of Ramadhan is togetherness.

When holy month of Ramadhan comes, i always remember Nadhir, a friend in Scotland (he’s Algerian Muslim i met on Tumblr site) who had made a video about his Ramadhan and his journey to reborn into Islam. Please kindly check the video, and please pray for him. We never know that could be our prayers that brings warmness in his heart, and easiness for him to observing this Ramadhan.

Part 1;

Part 2;

P.s : it’s been a long time since i heard from him, and now i wondering where in the world he is.

Happy welcoming the Holy month of Ramadahan, if possible, please remember me and my families in your prayers and ziarah. Insha Allah, you are all in mine.


.. will be off from wordpress during this Ramadhan, or more ..